Honor 205: What We Know and How We Know It was not only the first Honors course I ever took at the UW, but also the first English course. In high school I felt that English was by far my worst subject. I had always been interested in math, chemistry, or biology. I felt that I could strongly grasp the concepts in those types of classes by memorization or practicing applications, but with English I was always a little lost. Everyone seemed to have more insight and had a way with words that I couldn’t replicate. Coming into a college honors English course, I had practically no confidence in my writing. My AP literature teacher told me I was going to struggle writing at a competent college level because my writing just wasn’t that advanced. I considered taking an entry level honors course until I heard reviews of Frances McCue, the Honors 205 professor. I talked to the honors advisors in length about my concerns and they assured me this was the class for me to take. I’m glad to say with Honors 205 and Frances as my professor I felt my writing level and overall confidence grow with each assignment.
If someone were to ask me “what brought you to where you are today?” my response would honestly include some cliché answers. For example one might be “my parents pushing me hard to do well” or “encouraging teachers helping me along the way”. However right now as I’m reflecting, I would say my self-awareness got me to where I am today. In high school, I was able to recognize what my strengths and weakness were and then use them to my advantage. I was good at math, memorization and standardized tests, but I was shy and had no public speaking skills. I’m naturally an introvert but throughout high school I knew exactly what I needed to do to better my chances at getting into college. I had to get good grades and test scores, show leadership, and be involved in my school and community. The first thing came easy to me because I’ve always been a good student with my parents’ encouragement. The next two things, however, were a bit different. Since I realized that it wasn’t in my nature to just join a club or start volunteering, I had to push myself outside of my comfort zone and make myself do it. I got involved in absolutely everything from Sport Medicine Team to Washington State Hunter Jumper Association Junior Representative. Without my self-awareness I truly believe I would have stuck to what was comfortable to me and not have had the accomplishments to get me into college. I still struggle with my shyness but I no longer see it as a “crippling social defect”. It’s now apart of me and is something I overcome every single day.
I can picture myself walking into Honors 205 classroom. I remember that I opened the wrong door and a loud buzzer when off. “Awesome, what a perfect start,” I said to myself. I remember that I was so incredibly nervous to be in a room with all of the other honors students. I had thought that I must had been the very last person they let into the honors program and I was anxious that all these other brilliant kids would see through my façade and call me out on not belonging here. The class started with a bang: our very first writing assignment about a story we wanted to share. I had no clue what I wanted to write about. I had nothing interesting or cool or exciting ever happen to me. I started about 4 different stories in the 15 minutes we were given and I hated every single one. I was honestly banking on not sharing because Frances said it was optional. There was no way I was going to share my piece, but we ended up talking about every single one anyway. I heard countless stories from my classmates; they were all so interesting and unique. While being intimidated, I was also impressed with everyone’s demeanor. Everyone was so nice, thoughtful and seemed like they truly paid attention to me while I shared my story. The class unexpectedly provided a safe and nurturing environment that I didn’t see coming.
The first time I felt truly uncomfortable in Honors was when we were given “The Comedian as the Letter C” and told to make meaning of the piece. I read it over and over and over again and still had no idea of what the main character was accomplishing. I was embarrassed to realize that I couldn’t even extrapolate the plot, but relieved when I came to class and found people struggling just as hard as I was. After talking about the text as a group, I learned a lot about the piece and about myself as a learner. I discovered that collaborating with others showed me completely new ways to look at things. People had intelligent opinions, which I was not used to, and everyone treated everyone with respect, also something that I was not used to. Someone brought up that it was possible that Crispin’s journey was completely in his head and nothing physical ever happened. Now, looking back, I really relate with this reading of “The Comedian as the Letter C” because I feel like my quest for knowledge has been very introspective and personal.
Overall in the class I learned a lot about how I learn. Previous to Honors 205, I learned very privately. I would read and interpret by myself, bounce ideas off myself, and I wouldn’t ask for others’ opinions. I think I didn’t trust anyone’s opinion but my own because I had been let down so much in high school. I was pleasantly surprised with my classmates and how much I gained from listening to their opinions within our group discussion. I felt like I could rely on everyone to have completed the readings and to come with intelligent, thought-out questions and comments to benefit learning. I felt comfortable sharing my ideas because it was an accepting environment.
Honors 205 really changed my writing for the better. Previously, I would have had to write four prewrites before even attempting a rough draft. I would rely on the structure to hold my essay. This class showed me to focus on the content of my essays as a form of knowledge and intelligence rather than the structure being the main focus. My first assignment, which was to create an imitation of “ the Comedian as the letter C”, showed me that I couldn’t plan every single word I want to say. I just had to start writing and trust my ideas to lead me to an end. I felt my confidence with this technique grow with every essay. I found knowledge through writing and sharing my ideas with both my classmates and the professor.
Coming into the class I was very confused what the overall purpose was going to be. Why did the ways of knowing even matter? I thought that knowledge was knowledge no matter the way you got it. To be completely honest I thought the class was going to be dry and confusing. However, it was the exact opposite. I found myself actually interested in the readings and the different ways of knowing. As we talked about the different ways of gaining knowledge, we brought guest speakers in with every field. They were the most inspiring people I’ve ever met. Even the ones I previously thought would be boring, captured my interest and open my mind to new fields of knowledge.
The essay topics were produced from guest lectures on our class search to find knowledge. To me, the most influential lecture was Victoria Lawson, our Honors Program Director. I found myself almost on the verge of tears listening to her talk because it was so powerful. One of her quotes, “You can never go forward without looking all around you” really resonated within me. I feel like this captures my views on the benefits of interdisciplinary and how I want to approach the world. The main thing Honors 205 has taught me is to take pieces from every view, philosophical, historical, scientific, and using it to create your own well-rounded opinion on the subject. Too much focus in one area can lead to blindness, but opening it up pushes you to creativity and success. Thank you Frances for creating a safe environment for me to grow and reach my realization.